Good Afternoon

Sometimes my tomatoes leave me messages.

Last week when I came home, I found these little notes.

Today when I came home, I realized that it's going to start raining this weekend, and it's time to till up the garden. Every time I've picked a ripe tomato, I've thought about the seeds I planted. The seeds wrapped in a paper towel that Sloane brought home from a Ukrainian lady last summer. The seeds that I planted in paper coffee cups, that grew in a little greenhouse, that eventually grew up in our garden box. And now we're eating the fruit, and the plants are officially a part of the compost. I love that the seasons are changing, and now I'm excited to watch my new winter seeds take root. It is strange to think that they will also be part of my compost next year. The tension between being excited about new life and anticipating the inevitable tilling up of old life kind of settles me I think. There's a peace in the process of these veggies, and I like it.

and who do I see?

"because I'm never as good as when you're there.. and I can see myself the way you look at me..."

I do love the movie Almost Famous. I mean, I can only watch it at certain times in my life of course, but I'd say right now is one of them. And the above line sticks with me tonight. Not because it's kind of desperate and cheesy (yeah, it is), but because it makes me think of eyes and love. Thank God I don't always act in the way I see myself, but I act in the way I trust other people see me. the way God sees me. the way Matt sees me. the way my housemates see me. Sometimes I forget, and I lose myself and my hope. Other times I remember- and I see the way you look at me.

small thoughts

This is my favorite phrase that I read today.

"to believe that some unimaginable essence of who we are persists" by brian doyle

I don't feel like I persisted today; I actually don't feel like I made it past about 2:30pm. Sorry. Especially to those with whom I continued to interact- but I think this phrase is my favorite today because I know hope IS. it is part of the unimaginable essence- it has to be, because hope persists always. And it is part of me. and Greater than I am, fortunately.

Moving on, here's a little tidbit:

fibers move and fill

the space between our ears

to remind us that sound

is what we are experiencing

and then i know you are talking to

me